Life of a warrior

Soooooo girlfriend is no more apparently, I feel like I'm dying not just about that but my depression and anxiety are still haywire. So my dad tried to hand me 2 jobs basically 2 interviews and I didn't get either of them. Gods I'm such a failure. Hell nobody even reads this fucking blog.

So I live in Georgia now and it's kinda peaceful here, until I see people. I got a new phone (android FTW), still no job but I'm looking. My anxiety and depression are still hitting me hard, everyday it feels like everyone hates me and wants me to die. At least I have my little cub (girlfriend) she keeps me strong I'm getting her through her divorce it's kinda d of sketchy how we met but she's so amazing. Btw I'm into BDSM and so is she.

So I leave technically tonight for GA, and it's the first time my sister is doing anything for me even talking to me since she told me to gtfo. I've packed most of my shit and got everything out of my car.

Life is one eminence shit show! So I was in a car accident yesterday, lost my job 2 weeks ago, got dumped about the same time, oh and get this my own sister is kicking me out. And as I admitted last night to you guys (although I doubt anyone reads this) I have anxiety and depression. So I'm a world of messed up right now.

When you're a warrior every day is a battle. Some are small like what should I eat, others are huge and range from anxiety and depression to you vs 20 people with guns. And what sucks is most of these battles people don't see or worse don't care about. I deal with anxiety and depression every day and some days are easy which is still an up hill battle, but some days like today are like every ounce of pain in the world belongs to you and nothing helps. When people hear about veteran suicide rates they always say it sucks, which yes it does but that's not gonna solve anything. All a warrior wants is to stop fighting and sometimes that's the only way out. All I want...............is to stop fighting.

So my sister was born 2.5 years after myself, my father was on deployment when my mom found out she was pregnant fortunately he was able to come back for her birth. After my sister was born we moved to California and bounced all over that state for most of my childhood. My cousins got to go to Germany, Turkey, Italy, and cool places like that but my father couldn't (or didn't want to) get it to where we came with him. As I was growing up and had all of those family tree projects in school, I would ask my mom about our family history. My mother would tell me about the generations (4 I believe) of my ancestors who served. My grandfather Sgt. Raul Macias (<--my hero btw)served in the United States Marine Corps, he joined after his brother took a bullet to the head off of the beaches of Normandy. My uncle served in the United States Army, my father was in the Navy, and the list goes on. So I always knew that the military was in my future. Looking back I think I would've chan

So this blog is to be a sort of tell all of my life both in and out of the Marines. We'll start off with the beginning of course, I was born in Washington state in 1989. I'll hop, skip, and jump in between time periods a lot but we'll start with the basics. My father was a sailor and my mom was unemployed at that time. My grandmother said I was her second chance at life because she was cured of cancer when I was born. I was 17 years old when I joined the Marine corps and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I only spent 4 years in the corps because I injured my back, but it was the best time of my life. So that's a bit about me and I'll try to post daily until this basically becomes a documentary about myself lol.